All Or Nothing

Last night as I was sitting in the audience at the Miami Book Fair, waiting for Mitch Kaplan to introduce the journalist who was going to introduce the author Richard Powers, I realized that I am an all or nothing kind of girl. Earlier in the day I made plans with the father to go that evening. Later in the day however, I started feeling tired and overwhelmed with how full my night and week and weekend was looking and my brain said “You don’t have any time for yourself!” And my body said: “I agree, I don’t feel good…” Then it made me feel lightheaded and slightly headachy. “See?” it said. My brain said, “Yeah and you haven’t been to a meeting, and it’s a long drive down there and the guy probably won’t even be that interesting and you won’t really even get to talk to the father that much.” And. And. And.

Richard Powers is the author of Generosity: An Enhancement, a book that I have really no interest in reading. Neuroscience and our genes and the brain and all that good stuff I am very interested in. But the thought of Powers, supposedly a superduper brainiac man (possibly the smartest author in America), writing about love and human emotion and interaction makes me want to die a little on the inside. So I really didn’t expect to enjoy his reading.

But once I was down there, in the auditorium sitting with the father on top of yellow sheets of paper that said “Reserved: Press,” surrounded by other book lovers, looking at the fairgoer’s guide (written by the father) I suddenly wanted to be there everyday for every event! And I couldn’t believe that I had missed the previous nights. And that I couldn’t be there on Saturday, when most of the people I want to see are appearing. I was intoxicated by the atmosphere and the way that it made me feel and I didn’t want to miss anything. And really Miami isn’t that far away and why don’t I go to BooksandBooks (andbooksandbooksandbooksandbooks) (and books) more often when there are writers, even if I haven’t read the book?

Later when I was home and my brain had adjusted and drifted back somewhere in the middle of these extremes (I don’t know if I would call it balance…balance? What’s balance?) I realized that this is the way I do everything. I know no moderation. If I exercise I get really into my goals and also the way that it makes me feel (good) and I want to do it everyday. If I start cleaning I really clean…I take a toothbrush to the bathroom. If I write, I need to write everyday, by gawd, I think I’ll write a novel! If  I drink coffee I drink at least a pot a day. If I’m writing letters, I’m writing them all the time. If I go to a concert, then I can’t miss anyone and I go and I look up all my favorite bands and all the local venues to see who is playing where when and how to get tickets. And if I’m not, well then I’m just not. I think that it has something to do with routine. For me, it is much easier to do things if I am doing them all the time, on a regular semi-scheduled basis. Strange for someone who hates schedules? Yes, but still imperative. I function much better with a schedule. If I don’t go to a reading or anything for a long time, then 1. They become kind of scary. 2. I forget how much I enjoy them. and 3. Well, three, is that elusive one that I can’t quite seem to grasp. Three is the aspect that includes balance, three is my all or nothing mentality. I think that it is this balance thing that I need to work on. I need to find out what it is and how to obtain it and how to keep it going. I can’t do everything perfectly all the time. There simply isn’t enough time. Has anyone seen balance lately? Or know how I can get in touch with him?

 

RC

Angel vs. Booth

In like January or February I got Netflix. I have been wanting to rewatch all the Buffys and Angels. Well the first disc  of the first season of Buffy arrvied. I was uber excited. I watched allof them in one night. Then I misplaced it and then had to pack all my belongings to move and found it and then of course lost it again. I thought I was doomed forever or was just going to have to pay for it. Neither option seemed good. After awhile I forgot about it. But everytime I would see a Netflix commercial I would remember and think that I  needed to cancel it. It had been taking out about $9 every month and I wasn’t getting anything from it. But everytime I saw the commercial my computer would be on the ground or turned off and didn’t want to mess with it.

Well, during this time I started watching Bones a lot. Kind of got obsessed. I didn’t really like it when it first came out. When I first saw the previews for it, I was not happy. I didn’t like the main girl. I didn’t think she was pretty enough or had even charisma to have the female lead. She pretty much just down right annoyed me. And I kind of thought the whole show idea was dumb and thought Angel should be in something much better. But then I thuoght hey, at least he’s getting work. I don’t know what got me to watch it for the first time. But then I was hooked. The chemistry that Booth (Angel) and Bones (the female lead) was good, and I really liked all the other characters. Its kind of dumb and not very realistic but its a fun show. And now I am use to Angel as Booth.

About a week or so ago I was talking to Alexis. I don’t know how Netflix came up but I told her about my little problem. And she told me her brillant scheme about lieing to Netflix and say that I sent it back and it must have got lost in the mail. Low and behold, it WORKED. Like two days after I did it Netflix sent me the second disc for the first season of Buffy. I was so excited I watched all four episode in one sitting. It was so weird seeing Booth as Angel. He is such a baby. And totally playing a different character. As Booth he’s a fun loving guy, who still acts childish at times but very protective of the “squints” and very passionate about his work as a FBI agent and he believes in god, and Bones doesn’t so they always clash about that. Big difference from his dark, soul tortured, vampire with a conscience thing.

I honestly can’t say who I like better. I just love Angel, err I mean Booth, I mean Angel, I mean Booth. Did you know that he got discovered walking his dog or some shit? And I think he married a porn star or stripper or something assnine like that. He’s pretty but no one ever said very smart. I’m just happy to be able to watch the Buffy episodes and when I’m done switching to the Angel ones, and continue to watch Bones on TV. I’m just glade he’s getting work.

Well Alexis, you better be happy I blogged. My computer is about to die now.

-Karla

(¿) Better Late Than Never (?)

Here I am, out in the rain. I know I can’t ever wash out the pain.
No, I mean…
Here I am, on my way. down another road I have paved. With every good intention I’ve made….

Like writing here sooner than now. Okay part of the problem is that I just didn’t have time. I was very busy vacationing, and sitting around with the old lady, and eating yummy yummy food, and taking very silly pictures with Karla, and consuming Carver stories like they were potato chips, and climbing straight up the big big hill right across the road from Grandmama’s house (and smaller ones too). Alright, another part of the problem is that after reading what you two little geniuses were writing about I got stage fright. I sat down to write and I thought, oh no, I don’t have a topic. They both always have topics. Ack! Ack! Heart! Attack! Quick! Think of a topic! But I could not and so I did not.

I had this professor in college and he was very into the online forum idea and part of the course requirements were to make a weekly post on this website for our class, the idea being that we would get a conversation going about the things we talked about in class, or things we read elsewhere, anything really at least somewhat related to Neurobiology, and according to him science was related to everything so really almost anything went. Initially I thought, yeah no problem, I can do that easy. But then it came down to it and I would get all nervous and even if I had something to say, and as you both know this is most of the time, I would worry about how I was saying it, whether or not it was relevant, or stupid, or like everybody else’s posts, and the fact that then I would post it and it would be connected to my name on the internet for all the world to see made me very nervous (I know, I know as if anyone cares, but hey, here’s the thing: I care!).

So the moral of the story is that I am going to do my best to get over myself. To not care if my ideas, and thoughts, and words, and posts are like the others posted here. I mean, honestly, it’s none of my business what you think of me!

And the three little barnyard animals who live on top of my monitor are cheering me on, they all tell me that I’m doing a great job and that they are proud of me. So let’s all say thanks to ObamaLlama, Wilbur the pig, and Shadowfax (the horse , obviously).

 

Rachel

too common

Back in the day, like back when I worked at Hops (the first time), papa would come in sometimes.  One night he got into a conversation with one of my co-workers.  They started arguing about something, politics, probably, and papa would say something and my friend would say something that wasn’t a response to what he’d just said.  Finally, papa got fed up and said, “we don’t have enough common vocabulary to have this conversation.”  That was the first time I had ever heard the phrase, and I don’t think I appreciated what it meant at the time.

Being sisters, and having spent so much time with each other, we have a very common vocabulary.  We understand all the added meaning behind a word because of the history and feelings we have attached.  For example, if a person I don’t know very well said, “you’re dumb” I would take offense. But if I say it to you guys, you know I don’t really mean you are dumb and I would go so far as to say it is a term of endearment.

Actually, I think we can trace the etymology of many of the common words and phrases we use.  For example, my friend Rachel in high school was the first person I ever heard say “Just Kidding” after saying or doing something incorrect.  I still use that term today, ten years later.  People who don’t have a common vocabulary with me often go, “you weren’t kidding” and I want to say “duh.”  The term “shocker,” to convey sarcastic surprise, came from one of Rachel’s high school friends.  Like, when I finally post this blog, the first thing Karla is going to comment is: Shocker!

The first time I ever realized that words had a dictionary definition with an added personal meaning was when I read The Unbearable Lightness of Being.  That book has a whole passage about what different words mean for different characters.  I think that the point is that you can’t really understand somebody and what they are saying to you if you do not understand all their experiences with the words.  I cannot remember specific examples, but I do know there were words like “darkness.” Some people do not like the word darkness because to them it means reminds them of scary times and of being alone.  However, someone else may find comfort in the word because to them the darkness is more calming then the light.

This brings me to the vocabulary we have with other people.  Some people have very good universal vocabulary.  They can have perfectly normal, easily understood conversations with any and everybody.  However, others, like me and Rachel (we previously agreed we belonged in the category).  Have a specific vocabulary.  I believe this is because the words we use have more personal meaning behind them then the words people with good universal vocabulary use.  Sometimes when I first meant people it seems like they only understand half of what I am really saying.  But they more they get to know me, the more they…well, get me

This just makes me feel very sorry for people who are around us when we are together (and we are all getting along.)  It’s bad enough when there are just two of us.  Often, papa can’t even keep up.  But when there are three of us, FORGET ABOUT IT.  We often finish each other’s sentences, or say things that only make sense to us or just flat out say the exact same thing at the exact same time.  Like yesterday when Rachel and I went out to eat.  I as debating if I should leave the $25 even though it was a ridiculously good tip, or if I should make him make change to get 2 or 3 dollars back.  There are so many things we could have said to convey the same thought, but at the same time we said, “And it would make his fucking day.” When we would go on vacation together, it started to surprise me how much we would take over places, like relatives’ (who we liked) houses.  I kinda can’t believe that they liked us and liked being around us.  I can imagine how obnoxious we must be.

All I have to say is, I’m sorry, to anyone who’s not us.

– Alexis

Greedy Little Bastards

I just love our conversation when we split up the Marlins. I wanted to be really greedy and just marry the entire team. But what I think you misunderstood, see I love the Marlins as a whole so much that I wanted to marry the Marlins. But now I just want to marry JJ. haha Even though I love them all, well except for Looper, err I mean Lindstrom. And by the way you did cheat with Brett Carroll. But I am very happy with all the ones I got. And with out further ado, here they are…

MINE

1.Josh Johnson

2. Jorge Cantu

3. Jeremy Hermida

4. Andy Fox

5. Brett Carroll

6. Chris Coghlan

7. Dan Uggla

8. Emilio Bonifacio

ALEXIS’

1.Cody Ross

2. Alfredo Amezaga

3. Hanley Ramirez

4.Annibal Sanchez

5. Brett Carroll

6. Ricky Nolasco

7. Wes Helms

8. Ronny Paulino

RACHEL’S

1. John Baker

………………….

whoops, we forgot to let Rachel in on our calling Marlins. But John Baker is a good catch, pun intended.

BTW, I like how both my posts have something to do with the greatest sport in the world. Oh Rebecca got me two little signs, one says “Baseball…Americas Sport.” The other “Life is a game, Baseball is serious.” hahah aren’t they great.

Well this greedy girl is going to bed.

-Kay

Lies!

You know how we are always taught that honesty is the best policy?  And that lying is bad and that good people don’t lie? Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? And there are pinky promises and cross your heart and hope to dies?  We even did that thing where we hooked pinkies and touched thumbs (for some reason that was the end all be all of the lie detectors). Well, frankly, I think it’s all a crock of shit.  I think there’s a perfectly legitimate time and place for lying.

I have been watching the Mary Tyler Moore show (thank you, Rachel).  It would be hard to find another TV persona who is more virtuous, pure and kindhearted as Mary Richards (actually, it’s almost annoying what a perfect person she is). And Mary lies ALL THE TIME.  I mean, the point of the show is not that she lies.  In fact, they often say things like, “you wouldn’t do that, you’re too honest.” But she does lie all the time.  However, when Mary lies, it’s to spare someone’s feelings. She lies because she understands that the truth would hurt him/her and that a quick little lie is worth it.  She lies out of common human courtesy. And sometimes it takes a white lie to be polite.  Seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Think about it though,  when a person who is “beneath” her asks her to dinner, she doesn’t tell that person what she really thinks. She doesn’t say, “no, I don’t want no scrub.”  She comes up with an excuse, but that excuse is a flat out lie.  Every time.

My point is that all of this is okay.  And perhaps I was wrong in the beginning.  Perhaps a distinction should be made between honesty and not lying.  Because I still believe honesty is the best policy. And Mary has taught me you can still lie to save people’s feelings AND be an honest person.  I don’t think there’s enough said for politeness and common courtesy.  And those kinds of lies should be welcome in our society.

Peace Loves, Alexis

I Just Don’t Give A Fuck…

So I would just like to express how much I hate football. I mean I really hate football. I hate everything about it. Its dumb (Alexis you are rubbing off on me). I feel like I am watching a traffic jam. Its stop, go, stop, go.

Yes, I will admitt I don’t really know anything about it. I don’t know the rules, understand the lingo. But from what I gather and have been told, I just don’t understand why anyone would like it. On the rare occasions that I am forced to watch (by watch, I mean be in the same room with it on the TV) it gives me a headache. Even the crowd and game noises are hatefull. Unlike baseaball. When you watch a baseball everything about it is enjoyable. Right down to the way the grass is cut. I love the crowd noises, the way it sounds when wood connects with the ball, the way it sounds when the ball goes in the catchers glove. The “I GOT IT, I GOT IT” from the players. The way the Umpire calls balls and strikes. It just beautiful. Now football, there’s that stupid wistle, and the crashing of helmets. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy violence just as much as the next gal. But seriously. Football is just dumb.

You know what else pisses me off about football? When the season starts, sorry the PRE season starts, its like there is nothing else on TV. I was at work tonight and none of the fucking TVs in the bar had the baseball game on. Granted the O’s suck, but they are actually winning tonight, and who gives a shit, its BASEBALL! And the football game was Washington vs. New England. And its the GODDAMN preseason. I love baseball, but I don’t really watch the spring training games (and isn’t calling it spring training so much more clever then the fucking pre season, thanks could have figured that one out). AND its the most important part of the baseball season. I mean the whole fucking season is important, but this is when the penant races start heating up and everything just gets so stressfull. Oh but wait the football game is on, so no one cares. Ugh its sooooooo dumb. I could scream. I really just don’t give a fuck about football.

Well that’s enough for tonight.

-Alrak

Hello world! (and by world we mean Karla)

Three sisters who are as funny and wonderful as we are, not to mention modest, must have a lot of things to say.  Yes, there are so many outlets for our humor, the phone (as in talking), texting, email, facebook, etc (oh, and not to mention the old fashion talking face to face).  However, now everyone is blogging and everyone has a blog, I mean christ, there’s a movie out about a girl who gets a book published because she blogged, so we wanted to jump on the bandwagon.  So, please bare with our craziness, because there will definitely be some, but we hope to also be entertaining. In truth, we do not think this will be entertaining to anyone but ourselves.  But, also in truth, that’s all we really care about.

So look out (blogging) world, here we come.  And by world we mean Karla.